trying.

Since I began practicing Bikram, I've gotten a lot of reactions from different people. Some are impressed that I can stand the heat. Others, mostly yoga instructors, say it's cultish and they disagree with the methodology. One friend even said "ewww, that's like exercising in a petri dish!" Sure, it's the same 26 poses repeated each class. Yes, it's 105 degrees, and it smells like feet, and butt, and armpit, and sweat. You bet your bottom dollar that I look like I just walked in a rainstorm when it's finished. But I like it.

So maybe I don't completely buy into the doctrine/cultish aspect of it, but I like knowing what comes next in the series, and I like feeling like I've worked hard in the heat. Even the inconvenience of requiring that I shower immediately after each class hasn't bothered me yet. But I think the thing I have picked up on and enjoyed the most is that you don't have to do things PERFECTLY, you just have to give it your maximum effort. I'm a perfectionist, and this is definitely an area of my life where I am not perfect now and may not ever be. I hate that! I like steep learning curves, and knowing and doing everything quickly. Not gonna happen with this yoga. Yet I continue to go and improve and enjoy it.

In my everyday life, outside of that 120 minutes of yoga time door-to-door, I'm applying another a valuable lesson. It may sound contradictory or hypocritical, considering I've just said that I'm a perfectionist, but a lot of things in life have allowed me to just coast. Skate by on the bare minimum and get away with "doing well." I would say mostly personal things... not really work, but my own accomplishments or tasks or hobbies. Often, no matter how simple the task or how little it mattered, I have had guilt when I didn't give that 100 percent I knew I was capable of. It feels like cheating, and I'm not a cheater.

Especially with Bikram, with my health, I'm learning how good it feels to not cheat myself. Not cut corners, but also not beat myself up when I know I've done my best, and all I can do is hope it's either good enough or I will learn from any mistakes. Heck, I'm paying to be there! I might as well get my money's worth, right? Some recent developments in life are requiring that I not beat myself up too much about things and instead learn from them. Do what I do best and not make the same mistake twice. I just hope I can lighten up on myself a little bit and accept that I don't have to be perfect all of the time. We shall see...

Hiking hiatus.

See those toes? (Sorry people who hate feet, and sorry everyone for making you look at my ugly feet. At least I used Hipstamatic to gussy them up a little.) I touched those toes today. Actually, I sat down, leaned forward, hooked my fingers over my big toes, straightened my knees COMPLETELY, and lifted my heels off of the ground. Yeah. I touched my toes!

Probably not a huge deal to most of the population, but I've never been flexible. I always had one of the worst scores on the sit-and-reach test in gym. I've never done the splits. My toe-touches stunk. In the interest of gaining some flexibility, strengthening my core, and working out some running ouchies, I thought I'd try yoga.  So today I attended my fourth Bikram class in the past week, and I smiled during class, and I touched my toes! It's been raining excessively, even for Portland, and chilly, so I thought a beginner's month of yoga would give me something to do and maybe lift my spirits. Some days, it has been awful. But the other two! I've felt great, considering that it's hell, and I've impressed myself in the process.

I could get hooked on this... if I stay unemployed, and if it were always as affordable as the intro special. Maybe it will stick! I sure like touching my toes.

Oh, the color on those cod-white dogs is Siberian Nights by OPI. One of my favorite colors ever. It's a deep, dark purple. I know when the instructor says "pull those goth toenails higher!" she's talking to me. Love it!