lessons on the internet.

I had my first e-mail address when I was a senior in high school. I was taking a class at Baker University, and it came with my own, personal electronic mailbox. This, I thought, was so cool. I could e-mail the three other people I knew with addresses! My dad refused to spring for Internet at home, so I would go to the campus library to write to my few friends. Already a letter writer, I was quickly taken with the concept of telling someone something without calling them or waiting for the post.

Since then, I've had accounts at pretty much all of the major providers. AOL, my university, Hotmail, Yahoo, Mac.com, now Gmail, not to mention at places I've worked. As the Internet grew and took over our lives, I pretty much laid down and let it steamroll me. A friend of mine jokes that there's nothing I can't find on the Internet if someone wants to know it. That I chalk up to my former life as a copy editor and needing to verify every single detail in an article (THIS girl has never had a correction run... very proud of that...).

Eventually I had a Friendster account. Remember Friendster? I found a guy in my neighborhood who wanted to give me drum lessons, but I never met up with him for fear he was a murderer. I also had a Myspace account, and I still shudder at the frenetic disorganization of that site. Both accounts are long dead because, after resisting as long as I could, I signed up for Facebook.

Oh, how I wish I could be a person who says I hate Facebook, but I don't. It's so fun to share photos with friends and family who are far away. I turn off the rational part of my brain that worries about oversharing and try to post only what I wouldn't mind anyone in the world knowing about me. Though my Facebook is private, it led me to become more secure and open with the concept of sharing my thoughts and ideas in an open forum.

I was late to the game blogging and Tweeting. It just seemed too personal, and who would really care? Believe me, I am acutely aware of the fact that no one gives a darn about what I think. Nothing I say is earth shattering. But still, I felt the need to start putting myself out into the Interuniverse. I've been cultivating my online personality in the past several months, I guess before someone assigns one to me. And that brings me to what I believe are the rules of the Internet. Call it Internet Personality 101 According to Totally Nutts. They are at least the ones to which I adhere for my own personal sanity and well-being. If you're not going to set your Twitter/blog/whatever to "private," you need to have some ground rules:

1) Once your opinions and thoughts are out there, they are out there. Don't Tweet, blog, or post anything you wouldn't want your employer to know or at least guess about you. And don't post anything you aren't prepared to defend. The anonymous troll is the true dictator of the Internet, and prepare to be challenged on things as simple as "dogs are great!" because someone will come along and say, "are you anti-cat? There's no way dogs are better than cats." And then it begins. You're the cat hater, and everyone will spread your blog around and you'll be inundated by e-mails and comments from cat lovers around the world.

2) Other people use the Internet. People you know! Don't post anything you wouldn't want your fellow employees to know. Like "Geeeeezzzz, I can't believe these slobs didn't clean the bar before I came in. I hate this job!" I cannot tell you how many times I have heard of people doing this. Just don't be friends with people you work with if you cannot control your griping!

3) You have a face in photos. Don't post any pictures you wouldn't want your family or employer to know about.

4) Don't post about your awesome day off when you called in sick. AKA: Don't shoot yourself in the foot, dummy.

5) There is no such thing as "tone." Don't assume people will feel your sarcasm or snark through the screen. If you ironically post something dumb while trying to be a smartypants, like a racist comment, assume that people will take it at face value. See: Gilbert Gottfried and Aflac.

6) Don't say things on the Internet that you wouldn't say out loud to strangers or figures of authority. This could kind of be a 5b)... Watch out for personal information, deep secrets, and keeping with your own voice and personality. For example, I try not to swear in my writing. It's unlikely I'd want to curse up a storm in front of my boss. Plus, there's generally a better, more expressive word for whatever swear I would typically use. I prefer to keep my swearing in writing to PG-13, but only when I need to, dammit.

7) Don't assume people care and don't get frustrated by it. There are millions of Web pages out there. The chances of becoming a "hit" blog or site are slim to none. Do it for yourself, and do the best you can. Maybe some day, it will have a bigger purpose. You never know. Having said that...

8) Have a purpose. Whether it's to keep friends updated on your life, practice your writing skills, or rant about your personal politics, it's good to try to have a point. Don't be vague and whiny! It's boring and gets old really fast. "Life is so hard," "some people really let me down," "why can't I find a man?" Ugh. No one. Wants. To. Hear. It. Get a diary or a private blog and kvetch there. Otherwise, you just seem like you're fishing for attention, and I am NOT going to ask you what is wrong.

All of these "rules" come down to that one concept: Think before you post. With personal information, this goes without saying. If you can't keep your finger off of the button, maybe stay away from the button. Now, I'm going to go re-read all of my blog posts and Tweets and delete anything stupid... What rules do you set for yourself online?