mountaincountrycity girl.

I was born and raised in Kansas. Not on a farm, but in several different towns, ranging from the college town where I was born to the Kansas City suburb to the central-state county seat to the town of 3,000 where my dad grew up. Each has a distinctive vibe and offers a different view of a state most people associate with Dorothy, a church full of bigoted jerkwads that I refuse to even mention by name, and tornadoes. I was never much of a country girl, save for a few rides on horses here and there. Really, I've always been more of a city girl who knows how to camp. Though I do enjoy cowboy boots and I have been run over by a four-wheeler, so I have a little country girl cred.

When I was 4 years old, my grandparents took me to Colorado for a road trip. I vaguely remember being overwhelmed by the looming Rockies. It was several years before I went back, but I remained awed and drawn in by the mountains. I saw the ocean for the first time a few years later, and that image of an expanse of water as far as my eyes could see remained with me as well. When I was 12, I went to Chicago. I ate it up, loving the architecture and the buzz and the lakefront. It was so exciting and busy, and my pre-teen self said "self, you will live in this city some day." I knew I was made for Chicago, and vice versa.

I lived there for longer than I lived anywhere else: Eight years. People ask me where I'm from, and I tell them Chicago more than half the time. It's not that I don't love Kansas in its own way, but Chicago became such a part of my identity. It's MY city, and I am a part of it as well. If Chicago had mountains, or an ocean (the lake SO does not count), I can't imagine we would have left it.

My theory used to be that I was half city mouse and half country mouse, still appreciating a sweeping field of wheat and in love with the idea of having goats some day. About a month ago, I realized that I'm about two-thirds city mouse and one-third mountain mouse. That ratio can change from day to day, but I really do need those mountains in my life right now, even if Portland might be a little too friendly for me. I had better not lose my edge with all this niceness around me!