Women, why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so hard on each other? Look, I'm guilty as charged for being judgy toward other women, but what is it in my brain that makes me think mean things? I certainly don't think I'm better than many people (except for criminals, litterers, and generally rude folks), but I can't help having negative thoughts at times. In Chicago, where I just spent six boiling hot days, apparently shorts so short that they are not even really pants at all are in, and I couldn't help but think how inappropriate they looked on some (fine, most) women. However, I don't have the confidence to wear something like that myself, because my body isn't perfect. Am I jealous of other women's confidence, or are they inappropriate?
I can also say that, without question, being in a bathing suit is my idea of hell. If I DO go to hell someday, I will be wearing a string bikini and stuck behind a triple-wide stroller on Michigan Avenue. What makes me so insecure about putting on an outfit that millions of women don't even think about, regardless of their shape or age? Why do I and other women pick on ourselves so much and want to be perfect? I have seen so many friends who are disappointed in post-pregnancy bodies and upset that they aren't flawless, and it makes me so sad because I know at the end of the day, most of us are really doing the best that we can. Why isn't it enough to be healthy, happy, and imperfect?
This is such an age-old issue that has been hashed and rehashed for years. It's just on my mind today. I know everyone is quick to blame the media and "society's pressure" of what is acceptable, but I think it's more than that. I think somehow we are hard-wired to compete, I guess, with those around us. And in order to make ourselves feel better, we can't help but pick others apart, even if it's in silence.
So, what do you think? Are you confident? Are you self-conscious? Do you fake it 'til you make it? And how do you shake yourself out of a self-hating funk?
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